The RSV Chronicles

I'm in a fog.  A really grumpy, sleep-deprived, so tired of having unhealthy babies - fog.

New Year's Day started out totally normal.  My day was filled with the following statements:
"Ella don't lay on your sister to play with that toy" (Exhibit A)
"Sydney, don't sit on top of your sister" (Exhibit B)
"Ella, don't take off your sister's diaper"
"Sydney, don't spit with food in your mouth"

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

thank goodness it was nap time!

After all three of us napped, while Daniel and some guys watched the Winter Classic outdoors complete with a firepit, cigars, booze, and life-sized jenga, Kelly and her crew came over for some play time.  We all went to Chili's for a delicious dinner, and Ella started to get fussy and feel crappy.

big girls at Chili's

On New Year's night, Daniel had gone to bed early (helped in part to previous "guy day activities" or "day drinking"), and I had JUST cut the TV off and was dozing off when Sydney went batty.  She was screaming.  I rocked her in bed, and we dozed off.  I couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't crying because SHE was upset.  Anywho, I got her back into her crib just as Ella started to fuss.  On any other night, I would have just put in a pacifier and stumbled back into bed, but since Sydney had me worried, I picked Ella up and she was steaming hot.  I'm talking - let's fry an egg on her skin.  See Exhibit C.  I took her temperature, 103.4.  Thanks, Sydney, for that twin bond that made sure I took care of your sister.  Anywho, I thought about calling my mom, but then thought maybe I should figure out someone more professional.  I talked to a nice nurse on the 24-hour nurse line through insurance, and she kept me from driving to the ER.  We didn't get a ton of sleep that night.  Little did we know, that would be our theme.

Exhibit C: Ella with a 103.4 fever

and it turned into a Sink-family sleepover

I'm not sure if you can see it bright enough, but there's Sydney laying ACROSS the bed, feet kicking Daddy's chest, taking up way more room than her 12 lb self should.

The next day, Saturday, she had a cough that started to sound barky, and she was really starting to fuss, so I decided that along with her high fever we needed to make a trip to KidMed.  This is when having twins is crappy, because I had to go by myself.  Taking a sick kid to urgent care solo sucks.  Well, a lot about the next week and a half sucked, that wasn't even the half of it.  They did a test and found out she has RSV.  I had no clue what it was, but don't worry, I'm now a RSV-encyclopedia.  Basically, it's a bad respiratory virus.  For anyone ages 3+, it's a bad cold, but for babies, it's dangerous because their airways and all the parts that go with it, are so small.  They took an x-ray to make sure she didn't have pneumonia (chest x-ray on a 9-month old was miserable, and I wanted to cry just like she was), and told me the signs to look out for, told us it would get worse before it got better, and sent us on our way.  Oh, and by the way, it's contagious.

Ella hanging out with Momma in the KidMed waiting room

Saturday night was miserable.  Ella and I hung out in the recliner, then I gave up and Daniel took a turn.  We woke up on Sunday morning and Amazon delivered the most thoughtful gift that brought me to (very tired) tears.  Sunday was miserable.  Ella pretty much cried/whined all day if she was awake.  She didn't eat great.  She coughed, and cried when she coughed.  Her breathing started to get fast, so I called KidMed to see if they wanted to check her out again, and they said nope, go to the ER.  We take her in, they told us her breathing was fine, her high temperature was normal, gave her a few breathing treatments and sent us on our way with our new friend, the nebulizer.

Our dear twin-friends, Lisa and Ryan, sent us a care package, filled with fuel, caffeine, and sweet treats... they also didn't forget about the girls, and found "Ella's Kitchen" baby food pouches!  I mean seriously - does it get much kinder than that?  They have no idea how much it meant to us, and how we'd use it in the days to come.

even though she was miserable, she was a good snuggler!

hanging out in the ER, maraca in-hand.

Sunday night was miserable.  Ella cried all night long, barely slept on your chest in the recliner/in the rock and sleep.  My mom came on Monday to take over, and by Monday morning I went to work in tears.  Ella was so congested/exhausted she was hoarse when she cried.  She cried when she coughed.  She felt terrible.  By the afternoon, she had turned it around a little.  Her fever broke.  She started to eat some and had gone to the bathroom (no pee = dehydration). 

My mom decided to take Monday night's shift, especially since Ella was turning a corner.  Middle of the night, Ella's fever started to creep up and my poor mom rocked a fussy baby the majority of the night.  Oh and guess who I've yet to mention - Sydney.  Yep, the other one.  She woke up with a 102.2 fever.  Go ahead and reserve my room at Tucker's.  So my mom stayed home with me the next day so one person could hold/rock/soothe Ella, and the other one could take care of Sydney. 

"It will get worse before it gets better."

Tuesday, ugh.  I was already starting to get concerned, but Ella really took a turn.  She refused to eat and only peed twice.  I knew something was off and she was getting dehydrated, so I packed her up and met Daniel back at Kid Med while my mom kept Sydney.  I thought she only needed some fluids and we would be back home.  Wrong.  They did another chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia, and while I was cuddling a very fussy baby as she received IV fluids, the nurse came in to take over so we could talk to the doctor about her x-ray.  She had pneumonia.  They decided to give her another bag of fluids and an antibiotic through her IV.  About halfway through the second bag, the doctor came in and told us if Ella drank her bottle then she could go home.  Her goal: 2 oz.  Daniel and I knew right away that wouldn't happen.  She hadn't had 2 oz in over 24 hours.  She coughed every time she took a sip.  So there it was.  Our very sick, RSV-infected, pneumonia-fighting Ella was headed to Chippenham to be admitted.

sick girl getting a breathing treatment, and still hanging onto her favorite toy

Let's just take a moment to process this picture: Ella receiving a breathing treatment, Sydney acting like a banshee in the background.  She had a fever the night before??? You'd never know...

Sydney has recently started trying to pull up on things.  I was getting everything packed up and ready to go to KidMed, and I looked in the room and Sydney had found Ella and was telling her good luck at the doctor!  Sweet things wouldn't see each other for another 4 days

at KidMed getting fluids - that sad arm has an IV in it

the second IV bag took over an hour, so momma ate some food and Daddy got to snuggle

Ella's arm got taped up and we were given the green-light to drive her vs. transporting via ambulance to Chippenham.  So I'll paste our text updates to family/friends here, with some commentary and pictures in between.

Tuesday, January 5th
8:54pm - Waiting for them to start her on IV fluids.  She will get a bolus bag since she hasn't peed yet, then should be on maintenance.  The plan is to treat her with a "big gun" antibiotic for bacterial pneumonia, and work on getting her fever down with motrin/Tylenol.  She cannot leave until she consistently eats bottles, so that's the big goal.

waiting for her IV and partying with her maraca.  her little foot looks like a glow worm as that's where her oxygen/pulse sensor was located

I thought we'd be there overnight for some fluids and to get her feeling better.  Ha, good riddance, Kim.  Daniel went home to get a bag packed and a few other things.  He met me in Ella's new digs - room 703.  He stayed for a while, helped rock her, and finally went home around 9:30 or 10 to get some rest and hang out with Syd.  I thought that I could handle the night solo, and honestly hadn't considered having someone stay with me.  I was wrong.  The night went worse than I expected.  I wasn't tired for a while, but when I started to get that way, it was close to time for the nurse to take her vitals, so I stayed awake.  Sooooo getting Ella's vitals was an ordeal each time.  Every little part of her body hurt.  They learned they had to be strategic about getting her vitals: first walk in the room and count her breaths without Ella seeing the nurse.  Then listen to her with the stethoscope (even putting the stethoscope on her made her cry in pain, like her skin hurt).  Then they take her temperature, change her diaper, clean out her nose, and give her medicine.  So her vital-check started the downhill turn.  She started crying and her nose started bleeding.  I asked the nurse, and she said she would need to talk to the doctor about it (not the usual "yeah, that's normal").  Then she got motrin, and choked horribly on it (note, at this point she is taking NOTHING through her mouth).  She coughed and choked, and every time she coughed blood would come out of her nose.  I started to cry because I was tired, hating the fact I was by myself, and hated to see my girl so sick.  She was so sick that we had to switch to a regular paci vs. a wubbanub, because she wouldn't hold the weight of the animal on the end.  A bit later we got her calmed down, I finally sat down to try to rest.  Then before I could shut my eyes, she received her second breathing treatment, in which her oxygen dropped below the "normal" 90.  And every time it dropped, the damn machine would beep.  So the nurse came in and decided that they needed to put her on oxygen, and we were going to stop her breathing treatments.  Ugh, this is not how the night was supposed to go.  I cried.  And called Daniel.  And texted Kristen (because I knew she'd be awake with a newborn) and Lisa because she was up late traveling.  I finally got a little bit of sleep.  Kind of.  Ella was attached to her maraca, and she would use it to get her oxygen out of her nose.  Sneaky Ella, using the maraca as her accomplice.  So I would lay on my stomach on the hospital bed next to her rock and sleep, rocking her with my hand, and peeking my eyes open to be sure she hadn't knocked her oxygen out.  Finally I woke up around 4 when it was time for another vitals check, and Ella was sleeping so peacefully, that I kindly asked the nurse to skip the 4am vitals to let her rest.  Bless that nurse's soul (Michelle), because she said you just let me know when she wakes up, we aren't touching her.  So I survived the night, and it was clear we weren't leaving there anytime soon.

Wednesday, January 6th
6:38am - Last night wasn't filled with sugar plums as we had hoped.  Doses of Tylenol and Motrin showed that she is having a hard time swallowing, which led to mayhem.  So Ella has a new accessory, oxygen, as she couldn't keep hers up high enough.  She schemed with her favorite toy, the maraca, to help her take it out a few times.  This morning we tried a bottle, but she just can't swallow yet.  The good news is we've stopped Tylenol and Motrin because she can't swallow it, and her temp is at 99!  Every time someone looks at her (don't even think about touching her), she gets very upset, so we are very anxiously waiting for her to start feeling better.

I woke up that morning and looked outside and could see some hills in the distance.  I didn't look at my immediate surroundings and for a short time, pretended I was sitting in a hotel bed, looking at pretty scenery from a fun little vacation.  I needed that little bit of serenity and imagination, before I returned to our unfortunate reality.

new accessory: oxygen

how in the world did she lift her arm up with the IV split attached?  she's bad ass, that's how.

 and of course... we can't forget our other half!

Daddy and Syd-girl.... just the cutest!

snug as a bug in a rug

I feel like it's the same picture over and over: Ella in the rock and sleep.  But that was kind of our scenario, unless she was crying and we had to rock her, and we didn't have enough hands to take a picture.

Daniel finally showed up.  I was so happy to see him - he gave me a break, brought me breakfast, and he wasn't crying (unlike my sleepover buddy).  We spent the day like this: rock Ella in your arms, carefully transfer her to her rock and sleep, rock said RnS with your foot, arm, tube, watch Netflix, hang out with nurses, attempt a bottle and fail miserably.

At some point that day, the nurses decided to try a medicine through her nose in addition to saline, since they had to stop the breathing treatments.  Her nose bled quite a bit, and they hoped to get it good and moist + help get rid of some of the super, thick congestion.  They also very kindly brought in a rocking chair, because standing and rocking her was really starting to wear on us.  She only really liked snuggling into your right arm/elbow.  And albeit tiny, she was heavy.

Sometime in the afternoon, magic happened.  Ella woke up and didn't cry.  People - she was awake and wasn't crying!  That hadn't happened since Saturday evening.  She sat in my lap and held onto an apple slice.  HUGE LEAPS HERE.  We facetimed with Sydney and she perked up!  It was amazing.  They missed each other so much.  Then being awake and happy was just too much for her fragile state, and she slipped back into misery.  She hadn't had any Tylenol/motrin in a while, so we medicated her, and that seemed to help.  I mean are we awful, or what?  I'd like to think if I felt that shitty, I'd dope up, too. 

Ella: awake, not crying, apple slice.  YES.

sweet sisters connecting, thanks technology

2:29pm - we have some improvement!  Late this morning, they took Ella off oxygen and she has kept her levels up like she needs to on her own.  They took her off her IV fluids to give her body a break and also to help her want to eat.  She just sat in my lap awake - and not crying - for the first time since Monday.  That was right after we facetimed Sydney, she perked right up.  She even held onto an apple and put it in her mouth.  Temp is 98.  She still refuses to eat any sort of bottle.

4:54pm - you aren't seeing things- Ella is not only eating, but she's feeding herself!

8:23pm - Ella is going back on IV fluids.  Although 2 oz is a major improvement, it wasn't nearly enough to keep her hydrated.  We did a second bottle attempt and she did not take much.  So the doctor thinks this will give her a good shot at going home tomorrow, as long as she will continue to eat and improve.

daddy taking a turn rocking his girl

she's sitting - by herself!  playing!  quiet!  we don't let her play with wipes at home, but hey - GIRL YOU DO YOU.  whatever it takes right now!

one more FaceTime chat before we said goodnight!  they tried so hard to touch each other through the phone <3

Anyway, we decided that the previous night was just too much to handle, so I went home that night to snuggle Sydney and try to sleep.  And here's when the you-can-only-survive mentality comes in.  The second Sydney started crying that night, she came into bed with me.  I wasn't about to get up 100 times to put in a pacifier.  So we had a sleepover, and I slept on my own pillow, and it was glorious.  Back at it the next day to my Ella-boo, and hopeful we would bring her home!

Wrong again, mama.

Being with a happy, not sick, not crying baby was the best medicine for my soul.  I didn't realize how much I needed to be with Sydney, but man it felt good.  I hadn't seen a baby smile in way too long.

playing in the laundry basket

sorry, mom, I'm too good to be sitting!  let me stand!

proud of herself :)

Thursday, January 7th
8:30am - I'm reporting on Ella for Daniel... she had an okay night, but it wasn't great.  She is eating 1-2oz at a time, which is okay but not great.  She's still pretty miserable and does a lot of crying when she's awake vs. being awake and content.  She just got some more Tylenol and they are stopping the IV fluids.  She is coughing a lot, it's very wet, but she gets choked and scared when she eats.  Still not sure if we will come home today or not.  Sydney had a fever in the middle of the night of 102.2, but just woke up and doesn't seem to be miserable, so that's encouraging.

Mid-morning, we had a visitor!  Moses, the resident pet-therapy dog, came by to put a smile on Ella's face!  While she wasn't impressed (but she didn't cry), it certainly helped her parents, and we don't even like dogs!

12:08pm - Ella is doing okay.  she just took a second 2 oz bottle that she didn't choke on!  50/50 chance of going home this evening - depends on how she eats.  She has done a lot of coughing/choking that they are trying to minimize.  She has a new friend, a humidifier, that she gets to hang out with.  She had a fun visitor, Moses, that she can't wait to tell Sydney about.

Ella in the usual position, plus the blue humidifier.  She really wouldn't consider the humidifier her friend, though.

2:24pm - we took a walk down the hall (not hooked to any tubes!) to check out some new toys.  Ella is trying to take a nap, and after her nap we are going to try a 4 oz bottle.

As I texted out, we took a walk down the hall to the playroom!  Here's when I recognize the girl's best friend, their Daddy.  They are so lucky to have him.  He tirelessly rocked babies, helped manage Sydney at home, brought meals, and kept me sane.  We were exhausted and grumpy towards each other at times, but that's not to overshadow how amazing he is.

look at that sight:  Daddy and Ella.  My heart melted right there on the floor

snoozing and rocking

3:38pm - Ella apparently wants another visit by Moses or likes the nurses or is enjoying peace and quiet away from Sydney, because we are having another slumber party.  If she keeps improving with her feeds and her lungs and congestion continues clearing up, we will hopefully head home tomorrow.

Telling Sydney all about Moses and the playroom!

7:17pm - Ella is doing great tonight.  Ate a jar of green beans and some water.  She sat up and played for a bit.  She is still eating slowly and small amounts at a time, but they've stopped her IV fluids again and fingers crossed that her appetite increases and coughing while feeding decreases, too.  She's having a very small issue with her oxygen decreasing when she goes into a deep sleep, so fingers crossed it doesn't happen tonight.  Very very hopeful for a #doublesinks reunion tomorrow.

sitting up and playing with a few toys that Daddy brought!  The maraca needed a break

I felt like I had a newborn.  I washed bottles in the sink with borrowed dish soap and paper towels, then prepped bottles for the night (since we were feeding her every three hours).

Ella was improving, and unfortunately, Momma and Daddy caught the funk.  But we just had to power through, because we had no choice.  It just added a major sucky factor to the whole ordeal, and made us extra grumpy.

9:58pm - Ella just had a 2 hour snooze where her oxygen didn't drop too low, and then got super fussy, got a dose of Tylenol, and drank 3.5 oz!

snoozing peacefully... such a nice change

Friday, January 8th
7:43am - Ella had an excellent night!  She slept in between feeds very soundly, with her oxygen dropping a few times but she corrected it herself.  She even put herself to sleep with very little rocking from momma.  She didn't eat a ton, but the nurses said that's okay and are still slated to come home today :)

10:25am - we are getting discharged!!  One last antibiotic treatment and then as soon as all the paperwork is done, we are going to get Syd!

one last antibiotic through the IV, and Ella was trying to play with the nurse's lanyard

happy girl ready to see Sydney!



Daddy makes me laugh - feels so, so, so good to see a huge grin!

We brought the girls home from the hospital on April 2.  We were scared, exhausted, nervous, happy, and very unsure about what our future would bring.  On January 8, we brought Ella home from the hospital yet again.  We were so happy, excited, exhausted, and thrilled about what our future would bring, because we know how awesome it is to be a healthy family of four.

The #doublesinks reunion wasn't as cute and memorable as I'd hoped.  Sydney was starting to really feel crappy, so she was crying when we got home.  But you know what, we were back together.  With every finger and toe crossed that Sydney wouldn't get as sick, and that their parents would get sleep and try to stay sane.

Ella snuggling up on Sydney

Kisses for Daddy

happy (and tired) momma, arms full again!

at last! we can fight over toys again

chomping down like it's steak

and we're back!  feeding two babies, all four of us are just a few feet apart, finally :)

that's how you know Ella's better: she is thrilled to have her clothes taken off.  Goodnight shirt.

Daniel and I worked really, really hard at mastering a new talent (this includes Sydney and her never ending RSV battle, chronicles continued).  We can proudly tell you what the girls' fever is, to the degree (not yet good enough to do tenth of a degree), solely based on feeling their forehead with our face/cheek.  Boom.  America's Got Talent, we're coming for you.

There were so many times when I pouted.  Like a small child.  I was often frustrated.  Tired.  I missed my husband.  I missed normal.  And healthy.  My bed, the shower, the baby keurig, and the recliner.  And my two together.  It was so very trying, the whole RSV ordeal.  I'll have to update in another post about Sydney's never-ending RSV.  But this post has literally taken me almost a month.  I kept updating piece by piece and finally just got around to adding pictures.  Anyways, we are so lucky to have them both healthy.  I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but we were in good hands in the hospital.  My anxiety level decreased as soon as she was hooked up to machines and I no longer had to count breaths, wait for the yellow line on her diaper to change to blue, or question if I was doing the right thing.  Hand soap from home, the rock and sleep, technology + chargers, and slippers were crucial.  The nurses are made of Xanax and magic.  They're so calm, respectful, caring, and heal sick babies.  The other MVPs are our friends and family.  I had coworkers stop by and bring meals, and give me a break with normal conversation.  My mom, Georgia, and Kim C. tirelessly rocked sick babies, did laundry and dishes, and even got sick themselves.  We received more "checking in" and encouraging texts and Facebook messages than I can count.  We are surrounded by so much love and support, and our girls are the luckiest ladies in the world to have the best "village" helping to keep them alive and happy.  I hope to never, ever experience this again, but I'm happy to spread my RSV-knowledge to any other scared momma.  RSV is so scary, and is so easily passed around because it presents itself just like a common cold.  Alas, we survived!  We try to never take for granted healthy babies, even more so now.